I tell my mother I'am gay

          You would think that after coming out to a entire school bus that I would be more comfortable coming out to my mother. Incorrect friends, I was still super scared to tell my parents. I was afraid they would kick me out of the house. I would get abandoned by them and end up on the street which would later on lead to drugs and prostitution, then my life would be like a character in a made-for-t.v. movie aired on Lifetime, leader in women's television. I couldn't do it.
                      I didn't actually come out to my mother until the age of nineteen. At that point high school was over and done with, I had a somewhat stable job in the wonderful world of customer service (sarcasm), and I had already gone to my first gay bar. At that point the time had come! Also what pulled the trigger was my mother's constant complaining about why I didn't have any girlfriends, why were all my friends men, why wasn't I being a man-whore with numerous women. Well...she didn't say man-whore but she did tell me that as a man I should be playing the field and try to hook up with as many ladies as possible while I was still young. Don't judge friends, she just comes from a different time.
          Anyway, one night when my father and brother were spending the night at my grandmother's house I had a talk with my mom. She started to once again complain about the absence of women in my life. I finally had it with all that nonsense talk and flat out told her. I said, "Mom, I've been going through a lot of emotions lately and I finally have come to  terms with that fact that I'am gay." After an awkward gasp, she yelled," So you're telling me that you're attracted to men?!" Another awkward gasp occurred, then I said, "yes." Then she repeated her statement and I said, "yes." The kitchen went silent, then suddenly she started to mumble, "No, no, no, no, no, you're not gay, no, no, no, no, you don't know what you are saying, no,no,no,no,no." And although I was in tears, and although it wasn't the time for it, I kind of giggled and responded with, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...I'am gay." and then she went on with her no, no, no and then I kept on with my yes, yes,yes and that lasted for about two minutes then finally she moved on with other words. " You can't be gay, you don't even now what that is. No, it's just a phase, you've been hanging out with the wrong crowd, I knew your friends were gay but not you!" And then I tried to explain to my mother that the reason we were friends was because we all were gay but she wasn't having it.
           My mother just kept on telling me about her theory that my friends were to blame and that this phase I was going through would pass. She then proceeded to tell me that she never suspected, that this was "such a shock." Again, I made an inappropriate comment, I said," Mom! This is not a phase, if it were a phase then it started when I was four years old, when you bought me Cyndi Lauper's record because you knew that my favorite song was "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" also when you bought me Culture Club's greatest hits!!!!! Really mother, this is a shock? Really?! If you feel that this shocker is just a phase then this phase is still going and probably won't stop until I die!" More no, no, no's happened. Finally, after about two hours we both calmed down.
          I couldn't believe it. One time in high school, she had caught me acting really gay (you know, twirling, dancing girly, gossiping, like young gays do) with some of my girl-friends at school and when I got home she yelled at me and asked me if I was gay and I told her in a very polite way that I wasn't and I was just making a joke. Years later I finally tell her I was gay and she doesn't believe me...denial at it's best. I love my mother I really do, it took a couple of years but we are in a good place when it comes to my fabulousness. She finally understands me and she no longer feels that someday my phase will end. I feel like we have come a long way since I was nineteen but that process was a BITCH! It was worth it though. Coming out to my mother was one of the best things I have ever done. I do not regret it, she probably still wishes that day never happened but like I said, we are in a better place now. Until next time friends, stay fabulous!!